May 2007

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly."
-- Patrick Overton

Dear Saints and Aints,

Shalom.

There was only one time I can remember when I thought I was sprouting wings. That was when, in the summer of '65, I drove my little Prefect, an English car, through a stop sign in Kamloops BC, Canada, got hit by a half-ton truck and the Prefect became a defect. I escaped with everything but my pride intact. Climbing out through the side window I surreptitiously did touch my shoulder blades to see if there was any noticeable enlargement...

Over the past 25 years especially, I have come many times to the edge of all the light I had and took a step into the darkness of the unknown and, as I sprouted no wings nor was taught to fly with the equipment available to all of us, I must have found something solid to stand on and - I did. And even now, the fate of my visa or Indian citizenship shrouded in uncertainty, I am sure my feet, stepping over the edge, will find solid ground.

On April 28 we had a small dinner for some 100 people, mainly staff, in gratitude to God for having survived twenty-five years on this piece of land which we call our home, "the House of Imagination". Many tales were told and many deeds were recalled; though no ballads were sung of Frank the Brave. But remembered was when I stepped into the big septic tank - up to my neck - to unblock an obdurate sewer pipe. Exaggerated was of course their tale of hard labor on account of which they are now resting... Yet recounting all these things made for a great tale. And a great tale it is of endurance, hard work, hardships and all that was needed to make this place what it is today.

It is a tale I will recount in my autobiography which is in the making. I received a very positive review from a Critic Service which does, of course, not amount to a promise that it will be published. But, so it was communicated to me, if I was to improve my grammar and punctuation there is a good chance that it would be published.

But back to my tale.

The first official day here, April 28, 1982, I took a crowbar, said a short prayer, and dug a hole for the first pole of the hut and - that was it. When later a strong wind pushed the hut askew, I was accused of not having prayed long enough. My argument is that no length of prayer makes up for lack of depth; I should have dug deeper...

I am not much for the ceremonial. I hate ribbon cutting ceremonies etc. When I pass by a building that has a sign, "This stone was laid by So-and so" in my mind pops up the irreverent thought, "How could he possibly have managed that"? It always reminds me of the incident when in a restaurant. I had ordered a couple of eggs. Tired of waiting I called over a waiter and asked, "Where are my eggs?" He dismissed me replying, "Sorry sir, I only lay tables." How do you like that?

Here it is again summer! Our place looks empty. Only some 12 of us now, adults and boys, inhabit the sprawling complex till about June 20th.

Peace! While in years past I hated to see the kids leave; this year I am rather glad for their absence and the peace and quiet it engenders. Unlike in the story the Selfish Giant by Oscar Wilde where the birds returned with the kids, here they return, in great numbers, after the kids have gone filling with their chatter the air in the cool of the early morning and after the sun has set. A pleasant sound.

The temperature hovers around 45° Celsius = 113° Fahrenheit. Under the blazing noontime heat the playground lies still and deserted. The ring of trees surrounding it sways in tune with the hot breeze. The only movement. They also provide the only green around that otherwise drab brown expanse.

Still green are also the garden of the main bungalow where Bapu and I live and, the guesthouse garden. They are watered regularly and the care shows. The rest of the trees, of which we have many, have to fend for themselves. Some do better than others. Some will never see another rainy season, never again laugh up into a cloudy sky that dispenses gloriously refreshing rain, and never again delight themselves in a more benign sun.

In some way the silence that shrouds the place is deceptive. Work goes on. We are thrilled to have completed two major construction projects in one academic year plus a host of smaller projects. The school building will be completed by the end of the month and the dining hall before the kids return. Two rooms of the guesthouse complex are getting a complete makeover.

I am not sure how far we will get renovating the dorms and doing other repair work etc. But as long as they are done before November we will be happy. There is only so much time. This besides, Yohan has been struggling with diabetics which was diagnosed but recently and Bapu has been busy with completing his Masters in Psychology.

While I failed in many ways, I succeeded in creating successors. I have empowered people. From that point of view the future of this place is secure. Yohan and Bapu need nobody to hold their hand - just fill it! I am sure one day the Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada will look at this work with pride; they can say, "Through one of our men we created something truly indigenous which needs no control only - support." To attempt anything else would be to create an artificial dependency.

In many ways Yohan and Bapu are opposites. Yohan continually dreams of how to spend money on a myriad of projects - he learnt this from me - while Bapu dreams of saving money to pay off our creditors. Yohan just glances at a document from a trusted source before signing it, Bapu reads every word. It is said that in a contract "the large print giveth and the small print taketh away." Bapu even reads the large print as small print. I am in-between sometimes agreeing with Bapu and sometimes with Yohan. I usually get into the act only when Hamlet comes on the scene: "To spend or not to spend"? Yet together they make a great team. To some it seems that the two are always at loggerhead with each other. But the other day I saw something beautiful. We had a stressful morning meeting where we accused each other of being stupid etc. You know how these meetings go especially when it is about money ? or the lack of it. Yohan is tougher than he pretends and Bapu softer than he wants people to know. Later, while sitting in Bapu's room with a number of other people, Yohan sitting on Bapu's bed had a glass of water. Then he held the empty glass in his hand. Bapu got up from his chair, took it from him and placed it on the table. A gesture of care and concern; I felt good. The house is not divided...

As for leadership qualities... A couple of cows are standing by the roadside as a milk truck passes by. On it is a picture of two healthy cows and some writing extolling the quality of their milk: Homogenized, pasteurized, vitamin A. B. C. D. added etc. After the truck passed, one cow turns to the other and ruefully remarks, "Don't you feel terribly inadequate?"

It is a question I sometimes ask myself when I read about the qualities leaders should bring to their job. I see leaders lifted up as examples of success and are paraded before our eyes as pasteurized, homogenized with a lot of vitamins added... The epitome of success. Yet I have the sneaking suspicion that the glorification of leaders and leadership qualities is just another subtle form of humanism; the glorification of man.

To me the antidote to this leadership hype is to bury my nose in the Bible or a theology book; a book that extols God and His work of love for me. It is the place where unashamedly I can be but a simple child, a worm, a blade of grass that flourishes in the morning and withers by nightfall, the place where I behold the glory of God in the light of which my own assumed importance fades like the light of stars in the blazing noontime sun.

Saints, stick with us, stick with Yohan and Bapu. We not only know what we are doing; our sprawling compound and the many happy kids proof it. Whatever our differences be they all converge on the same point: The welfare of the kids... A point which you obviously share.

The way I talk about money some people come to think I have turned from a monotheist into a moneytheist. Far be such a thing from me. I just want to help more kids and help them better.

Our thanx and love and God's blessings be your portion - Yohan, Bapu and Frank

Please note: The best e-mail addresses to use are
fjuelich@paoc.org or fjuelich@gmail.com

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